Trouble In Paradise
by biancaful
Summary: Eli and Clare have been living the life. Married for a year and happy. Even a soon-to-come baby. But one day Eli comes home to news he doesn't think they'll ever get past. -My attempt at a dark one-shot.


Eli walked into the building from work with a smile. His life was virtually perfect, you could say. Everything he could want of course, now that Clare, his wife of 1 year, is nearly 4 months pregnant. The words sang a song in his head. _Eli, we're pregnant!… _Nothing could go wrong. Or so he thought. He would soon have his beautiful baby girl in no time. And he could go on with his life. Leave behind his unwanted history and horrible luck. Be happy.

He opened the door to the apartment, assuming Clare would be napping on her day off. He shut the door with his foot and threw the keys on the counter. "I got your ice cream like you asked!" he said, shaking the plastic bag. He didn't have to raise his voice too high. The place was fairly small and tolerable, but with a baby soon coming might feel packed. "Come on, you begged me to get it!" he called again, thinking she might not have heard him. The restroom light was off so she must be in the room, he'd thought.

It seemed that's all Clare did the past few months, rest. But hardly on account of all the excitement for the baby. He sighed and walked up to the short-ending hall. The door to the room was only open to a narrow crack, which he could still see enough to realize she wasn't in bed. He nearly concluded that she'd left to somewhere before he heard a quiet sound. A sound he knew was from Clare. A sound of a sniffle, which only meant one thing.

He slowly nudged the door open, almost dreading the moment. Clare sat on the floor beside him, back against the wall, with her knees up and sinking her face into her hands, surely crying. But why? Eli lost his grip on the store bag and knelt down next to her. "Clare, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked, worried out of his mind and even a smidge nervous.

This shouldn't happen. The day isn't supposed to go like this. He's supposed to come home to Clare, in her sweet disposition. He would give her her requested ice cream, they would routinely kiss. Today was supposed to be a good day as the past years have. So why is she crying, now?

He put a hand on her shoulder softly, encouraging her to relieve him of his confusion and troubled anticipation. It was beyond obvious he wasn't going to hear anything he wanted to hear, but he needed to know what was wrong. Just to decide if he could do anything to make it all right. But he couldn't. She sniffed again and looked up, wiping her face. A soft shade of pink had eclipsed her tear-drenched cheeks and her eyes were bloodshot. He almost wanted to shield his ears to protect himself for whatever he would have to endure at this point, but knew he couldn't. She finally looked at him with dejected eyes and he already felt like crying.

"Eli, I had a miscarriage…" she admitted, her voice nasally and cracked, sounding overused. He wished his ears had deceived him but they unfortunately hadn't. What he dreaded most was happening. Has happened. She dropped her head, running her fingers slowly through her messy, tangled curls. He closed his eyes slowly.

"Oh God." he said under his breath, bluntly wining. This couldn't be happening. This really _shouldn't_ be happening. Clare let out a small sob and cried, shutting her eyes tightly. He opened his eyes and blinked hard, refusing his begging tears. He cleared his throat with an attempt to lose the aching in his throat but only made it much worse. He adjusted himself to sit next to her and pulled her into his arms, then placed a small kiss on the top of her head as she cried.

Why did this always have to happen to him? Maybe not this exact situation, but he still asked himself this. _Why does this always happen to me?_ Why did he have to lose his mother? Why did he have to go through the childhood he'd went through? Why did he have to lose Julia? Why did he have to lose his _baby?_ In the game of life he always had to _lose_. But this was surely no game. This was all reality. The baby he and Clare had dreamed of is gone now. And that was the only thing certain to him as he held her. And only her.

After finally getting her to stop crying, he'd put her down to sleep in their bed. He washed his face off from troublesome tears, and left the house. Clare would surely be down for a few hours. He just got in the car and drove. Not that there was a desired destination. And surely not for too long. But he just needed to. He had a hunger to. To just be left alone.

He'd been through losses before, but not like this. He had never even met (and now will never meet) this forsaken daughter of his. But he felt as if he were closer to her than anyone else. He dreamed of this baby. He didn't know how else to react. How they would ever get through this but if he knew anything at this point it's that they would. Maybe not very soon or not very easily, but they would. They have to.

But he couldn't get these sick images away from his mind. Images of death which was difficult to describe. Just _death_. It filled his ears, stabbed his eyes, choked his throat. His baby is dead. He shook his head but they stayed planted in his mind.

Driving down the road he attempted to blink away tears but only blurred his vision as he tried hard not to mind them. It wasn't until halfway down his drive that he realized his hands, gripping the wheel very tightly were actually quaking. Was it really safe for him to be driving in such a condition? Lost in thought and anxiety he barley paid attention to the road. Barley paid attention to the car he was approaching rather quickly. A loud, long honk erupted through the area and into the car. He mentally cursed himself and avoided the car quickly and sharply followed by the other car driver yelling out a few nasty words.

How had he been so oblivious? Wasn't there enough death today? Enough to bear? He pulled off side of the road quickly and slammed the wheel, revealing his terrible frustration.

"God, damn it why?" he shouted, pounding on the wheel furiously. That one word summed up all questions in life. Why? His fists softened until they came calm and he dropped his head onto the wheel. Tears stalked his eyes. Silence stung his ears. Aching stress terrorized his throat. He found it harder to breath. As if the whole world were closing in on him and the whole world was crumbling down to tiny little pieces, all at the same time. And pure hell had filled his life. But _why?_

_

* * *

_

Eli walked into the room quietly, after leaving for his 3 hour breakdown. He'd rather have it in the car at the middle of no where rather than in Clare's presence. But he couldn't fool a soul with his puffed eyes, wet face and clogged nose. He sighed and leaned back on the wall, watching her, laying on the bed and sleeping in tranquility. So at peace that it even brought a slight smile to his face. She didn't look broken anymore. Just lost in her own dreams.

He wiped his face, and as he did, heard a faint rumble occur outside their bedroom window and knew rain would ensue at any moment. A perfect way to end this hell of a day, he'd thought sarcastically. He felt as if God were teasing him at this point. Just straight up rubbing it _right_ in his face. After all the tears he'd shed before, he tried gravely not to think about the tragedy, but knew himself that he would fail.

He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked over to the bed, careful not to alarm her. As he gingerly slid onto the bed she'd already awoken but contently at that. Words didn't need to be spoken as he wrapped his arm around her from behind and she held his hand. He softly laid his head on hers and the familiar sound of thunder had brought itself out. They stayed quiet a long period of time. Both their minds were completely filled but neither had a word to say.

"I'm sorry." he'd finally let out in a hoarse yet soft tone. For what, he didn't know, he just was. Though he could think of many things to be sorry for. But those were besides the current event. Clare faintly shook their head, pressing her lips into a line to hold back urging tears. She looked down at their fingers intertwined and close to her chest.

"What do we do now?" she asked weakly, squeezing his hand tighter. He wished he knew. Rain had finally allowed itself to fall and they laid in silence, listening to the soft patter hit the window pane. He rose his eyes to look up to it, as it presented in front of them. The silhouette of raindrops raced down the shade, to the very bottom and he took a deep, quiet breath.

"I don't know yet." a tear drop slid down his nose, familiar to the sight of the raindrops.

"Me either." she closed her eyes tightly and more of her tears had fell onto her pillow freely. He brought her hand up to himself and kissed the back of her palm, and as he laid it back onto the bed softly kissed her temple. Repositioning his head she sniffled lightly and held his hand even tighter.

"I love you, Clare." quiet rumbles traveled into the room. She let go of his hand, turning herself over to face him. He wrapped his arm around her once again as she gingerly pressed her lips onto his, and placing a hand on his cheek. As she pulled away she rested her forehead on his.

"I love you too."


End file.
